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Life can be like Chess sometimes. I don`t know how to play Chess.
Simmer down joggers running in place at a stop light, simmer down.
You`re so dumb you have to get naked to count to 21.
I`m only a morning person on December 25th
Sign: "No alcohol past this point." Translation: Bet you can`t chug this entire beer, right now.
Exercising can add years to your life. For example I jogged 4 miles today and now I feel like I`m 73.
I like pressing F5. It`s so refreshing.
One time I snuck a whole rotisserie chicken into a movie, cause candy is for amateurs.
If I don`t clean my house soon, someone is going to bring in blindfolded ppl for a Frebreeze commercial.
My friends says that I spend too much time talking to random people online. What do you guys think?
I wish I can start a new diet, but there`s a bunch of old diets I haven`t finish.
Exercise by running up the street knocking on all the doors. - Jehovah`s Fitness.
People keep mistaking my "wow"s for compliments.
I`m not funny, I`m just kidding u
I wish my life had background music so I could figure out what the hell is going on.