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I love finding money in my clothes. It`s like a gift to me... from me. :)
Life would be so much better if there were piñatas strategically placed throughout my day.
When I go running, I usually meet new people..... like paramedics.
My wife said I can definitely have a man cave, if that`s what I want to start calling the hall closet.
The divorce rate is almost at 60%. How does Cupid keep his job with that level of failure?
It has been scientifically proven that any woman can be satisfied with only 3 1/2 inches — and it doesn’t matter if it is Visa or MasterCard
Monday comes saturday ends and somewhere in between i realized i slept the weekend away....):
Down on yourself for being lazy? Keep in mind the Greeks believed their GODS lived atop a very hikeable mountain and no one went to check.
I`m doing the KFC Bucket Challenge!
Instead of cleaning the house I just watch an episode of Hoarders and I think WOW, my house really looks great.
whoever said that there are no stupid questions was stupid
I was called a village idiot today which really upset me ... I live in a city.
If you get angry, just take deep breaths and count to ten. Unless you`re angry about oxygen and numbers.
If a mass murderer on death row ordered a Klondike Bar for his last meal I bet it would explain a lot.
“Can we talk tomorrow?” is my way of saying “I’ll try to do a better job of avoiding you tomorrow?”